her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
