Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
