I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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