his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
