I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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