Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
