do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
