OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
