so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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