I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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