her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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