What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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