Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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