direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
