Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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