My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
