I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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