This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize