I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
