but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
