How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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