sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
