Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
