I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
