a queef is a wish your heart makes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
