Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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