every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
