i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
