Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
