Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
