I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
