carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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