Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
