sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize