Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
