she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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