Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
