mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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