I wannas sexs uuuuu
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
