Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize