so explain again why im purple
no
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize