Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
