my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
