So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
