We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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