I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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