Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
operation have a gay friend backfired
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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