Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize