loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
