his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
