Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
