Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
