Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
