No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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