And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
as a side note pls kill me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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