I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
