Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
