i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
