Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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