Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
