uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you win again, gameday.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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