I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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