Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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