all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
