let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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