apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
