Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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